about the palm trees

I am gearing up to move out of L.A.
The next few weeks will be the start of another great big adventure!
And I do love a great big adventure.

palm trees

But before I talk about how excited I am for this next chapter,
I need to talk about the palm trees.

*******************

When I first moved to Los Angeles
I hated the palm trees.
“I can’t believe I live in a place with freaking palm trees,” I said to my then boyfriend.

But then again
I hated L.A.
and felt extremely lonely
and out of place
So of course I hated the palm trees.

*****************

I’m going to jump way ahead now.
I’m going to fast forward through six years of
friendship
and heartbreak
and grad school.

I’m going to fast forward through career moves
and learning how to surf.

I’m going to fast forward through countless runs on the beach
and downward facing dogs.

I’m going to fast forward to through
dancing
and drinking champagne
with women that would become my sisters.

I’m going to fast forward through all of that
and just tell you
that in the past six years, I have fallen in love with the palm trees.

I didn’t know I would fall in love with those silly, swaying trees.
But then again, I didn’t know that I would fall in love with L.A. either.

Life is so funny, isn’t it?
My great grandma used to say “We make plans, and God laughs.”

We don’t plan to fall in love.
So we don’t plan on heartbreak.

If we want to be present, and open
then we won’t always see that next step.
One day, it might just take us by surprise.

But you start to know when the time is right
and you don’t question it so much.

That’s how I began to feel with L.A.
I just knew, deep in my core
that it was time to take the next leap.

I find myself looking up at the palm trees more than ever now.
I love their crazy height,
their thin trunks,
the way the are rooted, but still sway,

I think of their consistency.
Even on days when I’ve felt ungrounded here, my mind swimming with anxiety,
those trees were still here.
Rooted and rising, all the same.

There will be new trees to fall in love with in my new city.
I will fall in love with places and people.
My heart will expand even more.

And Los Angeles and the palm trees will become interwoven into me,
pieces of my story.

That’s the thing about big loves.
They change us.
Open our hearts
add color
and chapters.

And these chapters,
the ones about the palm trees,
well they’ve been some of my favorites yet.

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5 thoughts on “about the palm trees

  1. theheartsphere

    This was a pleasure to read.. I’ve felt the same about many places I’ve lived. They leave their marks upon our hearts for us to take with us always, to wherever we may end up. All the best to you..

    Like

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